Recently I celebrated another year around the sun, aka my birthday. Birthdays often trigger questions and thoughts about aging, especially if, like me, you are in midlife, together with a desire to live fully and unapologetically “before it is too late”. So, here is something I ‘ve learned about the passage of time, in a bittersweet way.

In my corporate days, I often felt that I was “running out of time”: the clock ruthlessly ticking, the allotted time almost over, and a constant sense of urgency hanging over my head, making my chest tight.

Back in those days I was sticking to a sequential notion of time. One that is limited, inherently scarce and mostly defined by my output. “Chronos” is the Greek word for it, emphasizing its quantitative aspect: seconds, minutes, hours and so on. “Give me a sec.” was often heard around the office. To spare some time felt as an unaffordable luxury and grabbing a bite to eat on the run or while working at my desk was the proof of that.

Last December my elderly father passed away. Just a month before he did, I took them out for lunch with my mom. It was a bright, warm November day. There was a sense of ease in our day out; even parking on a busy street, close to the restaurant, happened effortlessly. We ate by the seaside and I remember every detail: the sun warming our backs, the taste of the fresh fish, enjoying our meal at a slow pace. These beautiful moments, we shared together, reminded me of another word we have in Greek for time: “Kairos”, emphasizing its qualitative dimension and defined by our input.

Kairos refers to the way in which certain moments are more important or influential than others. A birth, a death, or even something more “trivial”, like this lunch with my parents, give time a sense of spaciousness, softness and significance. Kairos is about creating opportunities and the “right” moment. In Aristotle’s rhetoric, Kairos refers to the "opportune moment" or the "right time and place" to deliver a persuasive message. For Henri Cartier Bresson, Kairos is the “decisive moment”, the click when capturing a photo… and yes I love photography too. Several of my pictures featured on this website are proof to that.

For me, in life, leadership and coaching, Kairos is when everything comes down to a tiny, spacious moment. A moment where the world slows down, so as to be fully present with each other. This is when something meaningful emerges.

In short, shifting the emphasis from getting more out of each other, whether at work or at home, and “investing” more in each other, can be nothing short of transformative; that much I ‘ve learned and keep practicing. That’s the key discernment: when we hold space for each other “Chronos” magically turns to “Kairos”.

So, what’s your experience? What moments count for you? And how do you measure your days/years/life, in terms of “Chronos” or “Kairos”?

If you want to reframe your relationship with time and cultivate greater capacity to be present and offer yourself, each other, the communities you belong in, your undivided attention, I am here. Trust in your own timing.

Reframing our Relationship with Time

You Are Not Here to Play Small